from Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic…. ‘Sparky One Tooth’

[Fat Albert’s is a very real coffeehouse in Toronto, Ontario. Famous for having had Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, etc., perform on its premises, it is still operating.]

In wanders Sparky, happy as a pup, though you could never tell this pup
had a piece of brain lodged in his head.

Boris Karloff boots, polyester pants that themselves will constitute an
environmental hazard well into the next century, yet carefully designed to ride
a fashionable three inches above the white gym socks.

Bearing his gourmand’s picnic of potato chips, a litre or two of carbonated gas,
a few Twinkies, and a stale cigar, Sparky laughs at nothing. Fists the air
when nobody’s there, chuckling to himself… a regular party of those who can rightfully establish
the claim to rise at the crack of noon.

The uninhibited belches, amid some stage acts of softly enunciated sophomoric
silliness of versified romance and ethereality, are the best though.
The dykes-on-bikes are extremely unhappy and lash out, making Boris
laugh like Jethro Bodine, famous brain surgeon.

But we know it’s all because of his old ivory, the snaggle-toothed piano-playing mothersqueezer..

What’s your name?”
I’m Len.”
What do you do?”
I stare at the moon.”

There’s just no stopping the new, and oldest, democracy.

©Dean Baker

  • excerpt from FAT ALBERT’S OUTPATIENT FOLK CLINIC…..A coffeehouse, café as society…”Acid wit, deep insight, humor, powerful metaphor, intelligence…. A smooth ride on a bumpy road, with side trips into unseen hollows of the human experience…. What else do you need to know? An excellent read, worth sharing far and wide… More, please….” Prose poems that are a paean to Musicians, Writers, Artists, & Wingnuts: to folksingers, the troubled and disturbed, open mic nights everywhere.
  • NEW BOOK PRICES! from $9.99 to $11.99buy one for the decoration factor! –

5 thoughts on “from Fat Albert’s Outpatient Folk Clinic…. ‘Sparky One Tooth’

      1. I understand that the ‘brilliant minds’ of our time are desperately searching for suitable planetary human inhabitation with the imminent collapse of human existence here on Earth. In the unlikely event that such accommodation was possible in our lifetime, Dean, I will be on the next shuttle out! I’ll keep in touch on that…we can both shoot for the stars on the next red eye out and star gaze until death do us part somewhere in a distant galaxy! I trust 90 proof will not explode on the warp speed trip over! Cheers.



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